For One Moment
by Domon Kasshu
Summary: Chris returns to Alma Kinan to clear her mind, and has an unexpected heart to heart with Nash.


For One Moment

    _Author's Note:_ This story is still fairly rough, and it's unusual that I post anything in this kind of shape. But I'd really like to get some feedback on what people think of what's been done here. Fair warning, I'm at the second Cyndar Ruins, and this was written just after I started Chris's ?Chapter Four. This may be the genesis of an extended story down the line, so any critiques or comments you might have are welcome. 

    Chris slipped into the room and pushed the door closed behind her. Part of her wanted to collapse on the bed, but she doubted even sleep could calm her turbulent mind. On a whim, she'd traveled from the Lake Castle to Alma Kinan. What had she hoped to find here, other than painful memories?     As she stared out the window, she heard the door slide open. The last time she came here, the servants of the masked bishop appeared without warning. Now that she possessed the True Fire Rune, she doubted they would hesitate to attack. Her hand slipped slowly to her sword as the footsteps came closer. At the last second, she drew her blade and swung back.     "Whoa!" came the reply as the intruder stumbled away from the strike and fell to the ground.     "Nash?" Chris stared at the Harmonian. "What in the name of the Goddess do you think you're doing? I almost killed you!"     "I hadn't noticed," he replied and bounded back to his feet, a roguish smile crossing his face. "Would you believe I hoped to catch you in the act of disrobing?"     The Zexen frowned. "If you'd done that, I wouldn't have missed."     Nash shrugged. "And it would have been merciful, compared to what the missus might have done."     "I'd ask if she's started to miss you by now, but I imagine your being away comes as a tremendous gift to her."     "Too true." He walked to the window and pulled the curtains down. Chris noticed the sly look on his face, and put her hand on the hilt of her sword once again. He shook his head and rose his hands in a gesture of momentary surrender.. "So, care to explain what we're doing here? I doubt our opponents will take long to strike."     "Thinking."     "Thinking?" Nash's eyes widened, and he pointed to a gash in one sleeve and the white bandage underneath. "Please don't tell me that I nearly became a Mantrix's main course just so you could think."     The hint of a smile crossed Chris's face. "I thought you said it was only a flesh wound."    Immediately, Nash straightened up, and patted the arm, producing a slight wince. "Well, it was. But it might've been much worse, you know." He grinned at her once again.     "You know," she said, turning back to the window, "I'm amazed you're in here pestering me. You, in an all female village? I'm surprised the leaders of Alma Kinan haven't tried to throw us out yet."     "Too true. I suspect the missus will beat me for merely being here, at some point." Nash folded his arms across his chest and leaned against the wall. "So, what did you come all this way to think about?"     Chris sighed, and her shoulders slumped down. "Do you ever wonder… what might have been?"     The smirk returned to the Harmonian's face. "Every day I'm with you, Lady Chris."     "Don't you ever stop?" The smile on her face betrayed her, however.     "Perish the thought! Haven't you ever heard that the hallmark of Harmonian citizens is our persistence?"     "No."     "Well, neither have I. Was worth a shot, at any rate." His blue eyes focused on Chris, who failed to meet his gaze. "Judging from your rather un-Chris like posture, however, I suspect you need a friend."     "It would be nice." She still stared at the floor rather than look up at him.     "I have been called a good listener before."     Chris's head darted up and shot him an incredulous look. "And what makes you think I'd want to talk to you about any of this?"     "My charming smile, friendly eyes-"     "-and supercilious manner?"     Nash stared at her blankly a moment. "Lady Chris, I have no idea what you just said, but I suspect you insulted me. So, I will try a different tact. Your other options are the scary fellow with the wings, an overly exuberant young knight, water fowl and a girl who talks to a scary wolf puppet. I seem the preferable option."     "Perhaps. Barely."     "Oh, touché." Nash shook his head. "In all seriousness, what's on your mind?"     "Everything."     "I doubt we have that much time. True Runes in danger, Harmonian army waiting to pounce, not to mention your Zexen council likely much frustrated. This is hardly the time to mope."     Chris slammed one fist into the table in front of her, causing Nash to jump. "What would you know about it? Have you ever had an entire army looking to you for inspiration and leadership, or held the legacy of a legend in your hands and wondered if you're worthy?" Her eyes began to shimmer, filling with barely contained tears. "Have you ever had to be a hero… when you know you're not?"     Nash paced toward her. "Chris, you know that's not true. Without your inspiration, Brass Castle might've been lost. The whole of the Grasslands might have been occupied. You helped the armies put aside their differences for the common good. That, in of itself, is a remarkable feat."     "Desperation."     "The only desperation I see," Nash said, his expression growing more stern, "Is yours, to dismiss your accomplishments. These people need a hero, and you have given it to them, selflessly. I admire that, greatly."     "Perhaps they need a hero." Chris turned away. "It would be nice if some could see me as a human being, as well. If one person could understand…"     "I would… like to try." Nash moved closer. Almost too close, Chris thought as she looked back at him. "Earlier, you talked about what might've been?"     She nodded. "I've been thinking about a lot of things. Things I've done, and shouldn't have, and things I didn't do that I should have."     "Such as?"     "In Karaya Village, I lifted my sword against an attacker." She took in a deep breath as her voice started to waver. "Only after I… struck… did I see that it was only… only a child. I've replayed that moment a thousand times in my mind…" She trailed off suddenly.     "It's war. You were attacked. What else could you have done?"     "I've told myself that. That's the answer any of my comrades among the Knights would give, too." Chris stared down at her hands, which began to shake. "But… that doesn't make it right, does it? It doesn't give me the right to take that boy's life, and take him away from those that loved him. If I hadn't drawn my sword-"     "Then you'd be dead, instead of him."     "But who's to say I should have lived? If I hadn't drawn my sword that day… what might he have accomplished… what might he have done with his life…?"     Nash lowered his head. "That's not for us to say. Forces above us make these decisions for a reason. If not for you, the village of Chisha would have fallen. If not for you, the True Fire Rune might be in the hands of that masked Bishop."     "Why do I go on living, Nash?" Her hand trembled in his. "I'm given eternal life from this rune, yet so many others have died, before they had a chance to live. The villagers who've died… that boy… Yun…"     Nash closed his eyes. "So, that's why we're here. Don't tell me you blame yourself?"     "I should have done something. I should have…"     "Yun gave her life to keep the seal away from that bishop, and to protect her people. It was her choice."     "She seemed so at peace… with that choice. But it seemed so unfair. She had so much to live for, so much more we could have done."     Nash arched one brow. "We?"     Chris turned away. "It's just that… that…"     Without warning, Chris lunged forward, and clung to Nash. She buried her face in his chest, and tears now flowed freely down her cheeks. "It's not fair. I only just met her, and began to understand her. She… accepted me, as a person, unlike anyone else ever has. Just when I started to see how special she was… she left me. I know I'd only just met her, but… that's not what it feels like, when I think about… everything."     For a moment, silence filled the room. Then, she felt Nash's arms slide up around her waist, and pull her closer, into a tight embrace. She turned to look into his eyes, and saw a sympathetic expression, unlike any she'd seen before on the Harmonian's face.     "Chris… life rarely makes sense. Believe me, I know. But it's hard enough to deal with what the future may bring, without dwelling on the past."     "It's easier to say, isn't it?"     Nash forced a smile. "Indeed. And it's okay to be scared, or to be sad." One hand moved to rest on the side of her face, and he wiped away tears with one thumb. "You're allowed to cry, even if you are a hero. Far better than keeping it all inside."     "I wish I didn't have to face it alone…"     Nash smirked. "C'mon, a beautiful, sensitive, intelligent, talented woman like you? You'll find someone."     Chris found herself staring into Nash's eyes, and felt a sudden rush of warmth to her face. In spite of the ever-present smirk, she noticed a sincerity and warmth in his expression that put her mind at ease. Through everything that happened, from the attack on Iksay to her acquisition of the True Fire Rune, Nash had been by her side, supporting her.     Only then did she realize how close she was to him. She took in a deep breath as she realized, just as suddenly, how little she cared. "Nash, I-"     "What is it?"     "Maybe I will find someone one day," she whispered. "But maybe… I wish I already had."     She closed her eyes and closed the remaining distance between them, and her lips met his. For a moment, she forgot about the war, the rune on her hand, and the doubts that plagued her since she left Brass Castle in Nash's company. She even forgot, if for only a moment, that the Harmonian's heart belonged to someone else.     For that moment, she thought only about what might have been. 


End file.
